It was a Sunday and it was surreal, well that about covers it, thanks for reading
Oh I’m such a joker! What am I like!?
Now, the start of the day wasn’t surreal at all. Maybe a little startling as someone was hammering on the door at around 10.30 am. This was only my third day of living at Wesley the ‘old owl king’ Murch’s gym, Olympians Mma, so I wasn’t sure if this was a regular occurrence.
The knocking was getting progressively louder as I tried to summons the energy to move something, anything, as I was still in bed! Once I removed my quilt the ice cold air that inhabits Olympians Mma jolted me into movement as the cold air attacks any exposed skin with a vengeance, which is always a good inspiration to move as quickly as possible.
My mattress was strategically placed towards the end of the mats near the edge of the cage, giving me a wide panoramic view of the squat rack and dip bar. It was all quite beautiful when you factor in the sunlight protruding though the windows.
The sound of the knocking broke my trance like state and upon getting to the door after my many fumbled attempts to, the backdrop of stifled disappointment emanated from behind the door.
I wasn’t greeted with the hideous yet familiar sight of the’ owl like one’ Wesley Murch but in his place were three attractive women and some bald headed tattooed bloke. This took all took me by surprise and I stood for a moment trying to compute who these people were and I was waiting for someone to speak. I got the impression they weren’t expecting me either.
One of the woman, who I later found out goes by the name of ‘Angel’ stepped through the door saying “is Wes about?”
The others followed her in. As the women filed passed me my first impression was that these don’t strike me as Wes friends. One, since they were female and attractive and two, they had no visible scarring or facial hair. As I turned back round after shutting the door the four strangers, which were now stood in a straight line back towards me, all had their gazes fixated on my mattress.
“Yeah I know, it’s a bit strange, I’m living at the gym for the moment” It’s always hard to convey why I am living in a gym in just one sentence.
“Oh right” Angel said, her tone faulting a bit
I was keen to know what they were doing here as they didn’t really strike me as ‘Mma types’. “You said something about Wes, outside”
“Yeah, Wes said he’d be down to let us in” Angel said back.
“To train!?!” I said in a bemused voice.
“That’s one word for it I suppose” said Angel, while the other two girls laughed.
My face must have looked something like Stan Laurel having a stroke.
As I desperately tried to figure out what the fuck was going on the tattooed fella was delving into his large bag and fitting together some kind of black piping.
“It’s freezing in here” Angel announced whilst patting herself down and introducing Sam and Louise.
I said hello and amazingly I still hadn’t the first clue about what the fuck was going on. These people had come into the gym and started setting something up.
Two of the girls wondered off over to the couches and started applying their makeup. The tattooed bloke, fitting together the framing, then went into his bag and produced a couple of dildos and a strap on. Now, I’ve been to a lot of gyms and seen a fair amount of things but I’d be lying if I said this didn’t throw me!
“If you set the lighting up in the cage first Mark we’ll get a couple of stills next” Angel ordered.
Just before I had it confirmed what I thought was actually going on, Wes Murch (The Owl King) burst thought the doors “Sorry I’m late guys. Good, I see you’ve got in. Have you got everything you need?” Everyone carried on doing whatever it was they were doing as I pulled Wes to one side.
“What the fuck, Wes”
“What? Didn’t I mention this, I’m sure I mentioned this” he fired back.
It suddenly dawned on me why they were all looking so shocked when I first let them into the gym. They must have seen me, then my mattress and thought I’d come prepared. Even brought my own fucking mattress to the party.
“No you fucking didn’t. I know my memory is shit but this is something I’d definitely remember” I piped back.
“Well I must have forgotten, what with the show last night and everything that was going on” said Wes.
Pretty much the whole of Olympians had gone to a knuckle up show in Weston Super Mare to support Guy Lewis, Tommy Cook and Matt Sellers who were all fighting on the card; they had all come away with great wins.
As we talked the lighting had all been set up. Angel was shouting out directions as Mark, who was introduced to me as Mark 69, was busy taking photos. Me and Wes were watching the pervious nights UFC in the reception area which over looked the cage. After about 10 minutes it was clear that me and Wes couldn’t give the UFC the correct analysis it deserved, so rather than hang around like the couple of giggling perverts we were and getting neck ache from craning our heads, we decided to give them a bit of space and let them do their ‘thing’ in peace.
Wes talked to Angel and she told him they’d be a couple of hours maximum, so off we went on our way as I grilled Wes about how you let something like this slip your mind.
We went and had an exciting day that consisted of going to B&Q, getting Wes’ car washed, doing his shopping as well as getting some food. By the time we’d finished we’d been gone easily 3hours. We made our way up the gym steps and almost thorough the door. We were stopped in our tracks by loud groaning reverberating throughout the gym. Both me and Wes froze on the spot and looked at each other. It was strange as we suddenly seemed to turn into two 15year old school boys, laughing and trying to push each other through the door first.
Once we braced and readied ourselves for the debauchery of what was taking place on the other side of the door we went in.
Upon entering Olympians the cage, where I’ve so often given and received punishment, was now a scene of a completely different type of punishment.
Me and Wes stood watching, mouths a gasp as Angel had one of the girls ‘doggy style’ while the young lady on the receiving end was chowing down on the other girl. It was all a bit much. Me and Wes suddenly went very ‘English’ by looking then turning away, then staring, then making our excuses to no one before sitting down at reception to finish watching the UFC. The girls and Mark69 paid no attention to the fact we were there, I’m not even sure they heard us enter the gym!
The UFC in question was Henderson vs. Diaz and I’d be lying if I said I paid much attention to the GnP that was happening in the fight and not in our very own cage. I suddenly remembered that I write a blog and that this whole episode was all too good an opportunity to pass up. So as the girls finished up I introduced myself again. I explained about my blog and my podcast and asked if they’d mind if I told the story.
Angel was as cool as can be and fine with me telling and writing this. By the time I’d rambled on about blogs and podcasts the girls had all got changed, so in the picture on this blog they are all fully clothed and I wasn’t brave enough to ask them to strip off again as Olympians gym is beyond cold.
All the girls asked for in return was a shout out and to check out their ’ award winning’ work at Angellongxxx.com
And since they’re all really good people give them a follow on twitter
Also don’t forgot to follow Wes the immortal Murch @WezMurch ( but he prefers to be called the Owl King though)
Now this was all a bit of a surreal story for me to tell on my blog and everyone involved was as nice as can be but it does have a more serious side and that is whilst Olympians gym isn’t exactly fitness first, when it comes to Mma it is a serious gym where all different kinds of people, of various levels, come to train.
Now, while it’s not any kind of big deal that porn was being filmed there as a one off, it is a shame that Wes is having to look to rent the gym out to anyone at all to make that bit of extra cash because he’s only just managing to keep the gym a float.
To me it’s a shame that with all the various, vast amounts of combat knowledge available at Olympians more people aren’t taking advantage of it. Everyone is more than professional (apart from Wes) and everyone is nice (also apart from Wes).
So people, listen up, if you’re in the Bristol area and looking to do a private session or an Mma class, wrestling, Ju Jitsu, boxing or just hit the weights and treadmills then Google ‘Olympians Bristol’, talk to the owl like one that goes by the name of Wesley ‘The Immortal’ Murch and you could be responsible for stopping our fully fledged descent into hell.
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