COLOSSAL CONCERNS

MMA vs. BOXING

This old, tired, semi functioning, bed ridden ‘shitting where it lies’ debate has been given mouth to mouth and resurrected by a man that, funnily enough, fits the above description.

Tyson, real name Luke, called out Cain Velasquez ( The current UFC heavyweight champion) and any other fighter who’d ever put Mma gloves on, in what I think was an attempt to gain some kind of notoriety and get his name out in the States.

Now, I don’t want to go into this too much as I think covered it in my video (which is at the end of my blog), and verbally beating My Fury up is like taking candy from a baby with no arms, I.e. easy to do but you feel bad afterwards.

So instead I want to dissect the question: MMA VS. BOXING

I hate this question. To me it’s not even really a question. True, both are combat sports. True, Boxing is a large part of Mma, True, in both sports you have to be strong physically and mentally to compete but that’s where the similarities end.

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FREAKY MMA

Roll up, roll up, let your eyes feast greedily upon the wonders of man as warriors from around the globe in all manner of shapes and sizes are pitted upon each other using mind, body and soul in the ultimate form of combat, MMA. Where, from the ashes of battle only one true victor will emerge and be left standing. Roll up, roll up!

This is how I imagine the M.C. of a Carnival would sound selling the ‘freak show fights’ that we witness in MMA today. If you live in Japan then you get a lady from New Zealand with a crazy cool voice to do it. With Japanese Mma now struggling and the UFC not having adopted the kind of format that showcases the ‘freaks show fights’, it looks like the ‘freak show fight’ might be on it last (overly long) legs.

So this time on Colossal Concerns I want to give my views on whether this is a good or a bad thing. To answer this we have to delve into what a ‘freak show fight’ really is.

Now, this isn’t an easy question it’s like a freakily shaped onion, by that I mean it has many strange layers. So please join me while I take a closer look at what the ‘freak show fights’ are all about (clears throat) Roll up, roll up! Don’t be scared, pay your money at the door and prepare to enter the many faceted world of the ‘Freak Show’.

The ‘freak against freak’ fight

(Zulu vs. Butterbean)

Image

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WHEN DOES BIG GET TOO BIG -The Dangers of the UFC

Before we go any further on this blog I feel I have to make this point. It’s sad that I have to make it but such is life huhumm (clears throat)… The UFC IS NOT MMA!!! The UFC IS AN ORGANISATION THAT SHOWCASES THE SPORT OF MMA. Simple!

Unless you’re trying to explain what Mma is to the uninitiated then those of you that call Mma ‘Ultimate Fighting’ or ‘Cage fighting’ or anything else that you think makes you sounds cool, edgy or extreme, need to please follow these instructions.

1. Please place your ineffective, useless head at the mouth of a doorway

2. Make sure the door is either heavy wood or thick steel.

3. Finally place your head in said doorway and continue to open and shut it with all the ferocity you can muster in a Vinnie Jones, Lock Stock & two smoking barrels sort of way.

If you’re having trouble with this then ask around and I’m willing to bet that there will be an army of people you’ve offended with your nonsensical & dim-witted ways that will be more than happy to smash what little contents there is contained in your head over the floor provided.

I can hear you saying to yourselves ‘what difference does it make if I call it Ultimate fighting/Cage fighting and not Mma, it’s only a term describing the same thing, what’s does it matter what words you use as long as people know what you’re on about?’. To you I would respond ‘calm yourselves down… the door will shortly be free for your use’!

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